There are many signs that show you are in a relationship of abuse. The most common is the fear you have for your partner. If you feel that you should always be careful about what you say and do in order to avoid an explosion, you are likely to be in an unhealthy abusive relationship. Other signs that you may be in a relationship of abuse include the fact that your partner is reducing or trying to control you, and that you have feelings of aversion, disgrace and despair.
When people talk about domestic violence, they often refer to physical abuse by their spouse or partner. But not all abusive relationships involve physical violence. Because you are not beaten, bruised does not mean you are not being abused. Many people suffer from emotional abuse, which is no less disastrous. Sadly, emotional abuse is often minimized and overlooked – even by the person being abused. The goal of emotional abuse is to reduce feelings of self-esteem and independence. If you are a victim of emotional abuse, you may feel that there is no way to escape the relationship or that without the delinquent mate you have nothing.
Emotional abuse includes verbal abuse such as voices, ratings, accusations, humiliations. Isolation, intimidation, and audit behaviors also belong to emotional abuse. Additionally, abusers who use emotional and psychological abuse often include threats of physical violence or other consequences if you do not do what they want.
You may think that physical violence is far worse than emotional violence once you can send it to the hospital and leave signs. But the signs of emotional abuse are also very real and profound. In fact, emotional abuse can be the same or even more devastating than physical abuse.
Also, emotional abuse is very often the case because the killer carries childhood injuries as well as insecurities that have to do with it. He has not taught healthy cooperation mechanisms or how to maintain healthy relationships. Instead, he feels angry, hurt, afraid, and weak.
Male and female abusers tend to experience high levels of personality disorders, including marginal personality disorders, narcissistic personality disorders, and antisocial personality disorders. Although emotional abuse does not always lead to physical abuse, physical abuse almost always precedes and is accompanied by emotional abuse.
The victim of abuse often does not understand mistreatment as abuse. To counter it, he develops denial and minimization mechanisms to eliminate stress. Long-term emotional abuse can cause serious psychological trauma to the victim, including depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder.
Summing up, when I am emotionally abusive, the first step is to figure out what’s going on. If I recognize some of the signs of emotional abuse in my relationship, I need to be honest with myself and to regain control of my life, stop the abuse, and eventually begin treatment. If I minimize, deny and hide abuse, it can be painful and scary. The pressure caused by emotional abuse may be manifested in the form of a disease, emotional trauma, depression or anxiety. Under no circumstances can we let it happen, even if that means the end of this relationship. An expert on these issues can help to overcome pain and fear and help regain self-confidence.
Can the emotionally abusive person change? Is it possible, if the abuser wants to change profoundly? Perhaps if he sees his abusive behaviors and the damage they cause. However, the behaviors that have been taught and the sense of having rights and privileges are very difficult to change. Because the abuser enjoys the power given by emotional abuse, a very small percentage of them can allow himself to change.
In closing, I want to mention that the apology that may be demanded and the gestures of love between the episodes of abuse can make it difficult to leave. It can make you believe that you are the only person who can help him, that things will be different this time and that he really loves you. Still, the dangers of staying are very real.